Last weekend at church we wrestled with the issues about “Can we trust Jesus Christ?”. Some people find it hard to trust anyone. Lorraine Hiller, a member and pastoral worker in our Family Church congregation, was in that situation. Very kindly she has shared part of her story:
How did you reach the point where you couldn’t trust anyone?
All the people in my life had let me down: my husband, his mother and her husband in Germany and my own family in New Zealand. My youth was mis-spent, a hippy student drop-out. I listened to the dreams and popular thinking of the seventies and believed in them, only to lose myself. After an uncomfortable few years and a begrudging move to Sydney, the marriage was very lonely and I prepared to leave with two children. Isolated, I kept people at a distance for self defence. Many Christians lived around me in Sutherland Road, Jannali, and I began to notice a strength and a solidarity that was lacking in my life. How could I do the suburban Mum thing? How empty and pointless it seemed! What a mono-culture. We didn’t fit in!
How were you able to reach out and trust Christ?
God was at work in me driving me to Himself. At the time I thought I was pretty clever looking for the source of truth and authority about life. I had dabbled in various religions, and had the usual nominal Christian schooling. Instead of asking Christians around me I studied with Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to the door. Then a growing desire to go to church (to see it with adult eyes) led me to Jannali Anglican. They were lovely people, but I blocked them out as I focused on finding out about the boss of the world by myself. I began to read the bible, listened to sermons and prayed to God the Father asking him all my questions. He answered me through His Word. Verses like Proverbs 3:5-6 seemed to be there just for me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
I accepted the majesty, mighty power and authority of God over me and slowly came to understand how His Son, Jesus, is the way the truth and the life. Nearly 35 years later I am still learning and am constantly amazed at how deeply He loves me.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.
I found the Bible an intensely practical book with sure promises, so I tried to do what Jesus asked. It changed the way I related to others, including my husband. Our marriage lasted 39 years and our four adult children love the Lord.
Was that easy? Were other people involved in this?
It definitely wasn’t easy. We went through hard and challenging times. Battles with alcohol, money, homesickness. Other people accepted us in fellowship and gradually I felt more normal. The minister and Bible Study leader were faithful teachers of God’s Word.
What would you say to someone who can’t trust people and therefore finds it hard to trust Christ?
I would tell people that Jesus is way above the people you mistrust. He is the one you long for in your heart. His is the perfect relationship you crave and the one you know that you are designed for. Don’t be afraid. Step out, trust Him and do what He says. Saturate yourself in the Bible. People will always fail you in one way or another. Take the pressure off them by trusting in Jesus and your relationships will improve. You may end up with different friends.